I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
