I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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