Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
