Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
