I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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