she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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