it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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