Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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