It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
