I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
