we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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