Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
