pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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