i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize