So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
