im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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