You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
