Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
NoShamevember. You game?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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