I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
