Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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