the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
