Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize