So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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