hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
