Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize