all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it glows. i had to have it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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