what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
