So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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