My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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