Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she woke up with a sticky ear
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
