I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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