My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize