do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
