if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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