Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
