Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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