ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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