Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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