your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
