I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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