Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize