I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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