I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
