If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
