Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
