lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
