in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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