I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize