I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
