Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
