is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
