Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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