It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
