Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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