yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
