I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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