it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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