we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize