Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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