he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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