Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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