Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
