Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
